Thanksgiving in Arkansas

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Last week was a wonderful week for me! First, my neice was born on Monday! Here's a picture of sweet baby Sarah Kate.

The next day, I went to Arkansas for the first time and met Brad's family. We had such a good time. This was the first time I've ever spent a holiday away from my family, so I was a bit homesick at times, but I managed. I definitely miss seeing my neice and nephew. I'm overdue for a visit!!

We left on Tuesday afternoon and drove for 11 hours. We arrived in Arkansas Wednesday morning around 2 a.m. Around 3:30 a.m., Brad went duck hunting with some other family members. They got back around 1 and we (me and brad, his brother and his girlfriend and his dad) loaded up our stuff to go deer hunting. yes, I went hunting! What's happened to me? haha! I've become a city-fied country girl! I actually killed my first deer that night. That was definitely not something I ever thought I'd do in my entire life! I was pretty impressed with myself though. We were only allowed to shoot doe where we were (I know some of you are thinking I'm awful for killing a doe!) but it was really population control - they had way too many on their land and all the doe were not getting bred. Anyways, I actually hit her with my first shot. For someone who's only shot a gun twice for target practice, I was very surprised I hit her! Actually everyone that was in a stand killed a deer. Brad and I were in the same stand since I'm not an expert hunter (and don't want to be!). So we had a great night - but it was really long! Brad only got 5 hours of sleep that night (in 48 hours) before he was up again to go hunting. He finally got some sleep Thursday night/Friday morning.

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun. His family came over to their farm and we all hung out on the porch eating and having a good time. Friday we hung out at the farm until we went about an hour away to go to another town where they have a place on the River. This is where they go duck hunting (I still don't understand all the different places!) Saturday, Brad's mom and I met up with the guys and went to this huge outdoors store called Mack's Prairie Wings where they had this huge annual festival, including the national duck calling contest. This place was about 2 hours away from the river (3 hours from Brad's house). Sunday, Brad went duck hunting again while his mom and I went to a little country church near the River. It was cute, but definitely not New City! I miss my church! Brad took a little nap after lunch and we hit the road around 4 p.m. It was a long ride home, but we finally (and barely!) made it back in Macon around 3 a.m. I felt like we drove the entire time we were in Arkansas - I can't even tell you all the cities we went to! So, it was nice to finally get back home. I'm so glad we're flying at Christmas. Just 3 weeks and we'll be out there again!! :)

Here are some pictures from our trip. Have a great week!

Me and Brad in the deer stand before I shot my deer.

My doe

Group shot of our does

Alan (Brad's identical twin brother), his girlfriend, Allison,

Brad's mom and dad and Brad and me

Me and Brad on Thanksgiving at the farm

At the duck calling contest

Me and Brad at the duck calling contest

Rainy Thursday

So, I started typing this last week with the intention of adding pictures that day, and well that never happened, but I'm posting anyways! :)

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It's rainy outside and I really don't want to be at work! I think it'd be a great day to be in front of a fire with a good book instead of stuck in an office with 4 walls and no windows. So, I decided to update my blog instead! :)



These past few weeks have been sooo busy! One of my best friends got married this past weekend (Congrats Ashley!!). So, we had the bachelorette party 2 weekends ago and the bridesmaid/honor attendant (me) luncheon and the rehearsal dinner Friday night and the Wedding Saturday at 3. It was really sweet and the reception was a ton of fun! I've got a video up of some friends doing karaoke to Ice Ice Baby at the reception on facebook. It's hilarious! We had a great time Saturday and couldn't be happier for the newlyweds! I'll post a few pictures from Saturday soon.



My sister in law is getting closer to her due date! I can't wait to see baby Sarah Kate! I'm just hoping and praying that I'll be here for her birth. I leave to go to Arkansas with Brad for Thanksgiving on November 25 and Melissa's due date is that week. I really don't want to miss the birth of my precious neice.



We'll be in Arkansas with Brad's family from Tuesday night thru Sunday. I'm really looking forward to the trip and getting to meet the rest of his family. I met his mom about a month and a half ago. It's going to be a fun trip - hanging out at the farm and river, hunting (duck and deer), duck calling contest. Yep, I'm turning into a country girl! AHH how'd that happen?!? haha!



Hope you all have a great day! I better get some work done around here. "Navel White" doesn't pay me the big bucks to do nothing! haha!

One of those days

Do you ever have those days where no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to get in a better mood? Well I've been like that all day (and the same on Monday). Maybe it's just because I am extremely tired, mayeb it's because I woke up late, got behind a school bus on the way to work, didn't have breakfast when I got to work, but whatever it is, I need to snap out of it. I just don't feel like myself. (Since I have to be at work..) I just want to stay in my office with the door shut and not talk to anyone. What's going on?? I think I'm going to sleep in in the morning and come in late. Maybe that will help - we'll see!

Life and Love

Alright, so I've been a slacker lately! (or majorly preoccupied...) But some friends said "I noticed you haven't blogged in a while..." so here I am!

The last time I blogged was over a month ago and man, has my world been turned upside down since then....

I got the test results back obviously and everything has been just fine since then. I've been to countless bridal and baby showers, birthday parties, concerts, the fair...and just been extremely busy every weekend. And, oh yeah - I met Brad Neill, my future husband!!!

Ok, so that probably sounds crazy to some, but we both knew after the first day we met that we were created for each other. Our parents are in full agreement too - which is another reassurance. We met on September 13 and have been pretty inseperable since then. He is absolutely an answer to prayers. He's everything I always wanted and never knew I needed in a guy. It's really crazy. I have absolutely never felt the way I do with him. I'll post pictures soon, but most everyone who reads this has already met him, heard about him or seen pictures of him.

Well, just wanted to post real quick. I need to get back to work. I've got to go to a Bachelorette weekend in Charleston this weekend, so I won't be at church again this Sunday. I'm really bummed, but I'll be back next week for sure! I miss my NCCd family!

The results are really in!

I called the doctor around 1:00 today and they said that the biopsies came back as low grade! I am so relieved :) They're going to do an acid treatment (which won't hurt at all) next Tuesday and then everything should be fine. Thanks for all the prayers!

Test results...kinda

Well, I had my colposcopy yesterday and believe it or not, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I won't go into detail but the doctor did find two suspicious spots on my cervix and took biopsies (he numbed the area first, so i didn't even feel it! I'm so thankful for that!) He said that the results should be back by next Tuesday. So, now it's just a waiting game. I asked him before hand what the lesions could be and he said "oh, precancerous" like it was no big deal. I don't even want to hear that word! So, depending on the grade (low or high grade) of the lesions determines the treatment options. If it's low grade, he'll treat it with an acid but if it's high grade, he'll do this procedure called a LEEP where basically they just use this laser and remove the part of your cervix that has the lesions. And from what I read, the cells regenerate and grow back and shouldn't cause any complications or infertility in the future. So, I feel much better about everything, just very anxious and apprehensive to get the results back. I just want to put this all behind me and move on. I'm not in any pain from it now and haven't been, so that's a definite praise! I'm so thankful that God is in control and I don't have to worry about all this. I'm starting to get a bit of peace about it but it's still a little nerve racking just to wait...

GO EAGLES!!!!

I LOVE FOOTBALL SEASON!!

Congrats to GSU for their first win this season!

GSU - 34 vs. Austin Peay - 20

I'm so ready to go to a game!

What's going on??

I finally got my results back from my last pap smear today. About 2 weeks ago I had to have a follow up pap because it was abnormal 6 months ago. Well, it came back abnormal again. The nurse said that they found atypical cells and lesions on my cervix. They want to do a colposcopy next week. I've never had this done, so I'm a bit anxious about it. Here's a website I found that tells more about it if you're interested in knowing more about the procedure. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/colposcopy/WO00097. Maybe it is, and maybe it's not related to my endometriosis, but geez! I thought everything was fine! I just have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and he is sovereign over this, whatever the outcome is. Just please pray that it's not anything and is only atypical cells - not precancerous. If anyone else has had this procedure, please give me a heads up as to what to expect and why they're doing it. If it was just atypical cells, I don't think they'd do another procedure til my next pap smear like they did this time. I'm a bit freaked out by it all today...

My boys

I love kids! They are absolutely my heart and a I hope and pray that God opens another door one day soon so I can actually use my degree (Child and Family Development) and work with kids again. Here are some pictures from this week with my two favorite kids that I'm not related to (cause of course, Caleb's #1!). I used to keep Zach (the oldest one) when he was a baby while his mom worked. I kept him for almost a year and I feel like he's partially mine! I wish I had the joy of keeping Will too, but Mabel takes up all my time! lol Luckily, they stop by my office almost every week to see me cause Zach is in the Preschool program at Mabel twice a week. Zach is almost 4 and Will is going to be 1 in a few weeks. Zach just started taking Taekwondo a few weeks ago and I had the privelege of going to watch him today. He did such a great job!

Have a great Labor Day weekend! And GO EAGLES!!! :)

Lord, Empty Me

I've taken an unintentional break from writing here lately. Things have been crazy at work and after work! I'll write more later, but I keep hearing this song on the radio and it's really spoken to me. I've dealt a lot with very self centered people lately who have reminded me of how self centered I can be as well. I pray for humility and for God to give me a heart for other people and take me out of the equation. I want people to see my godliness and not self-centeredness. I can't do this alone! The gospel gives me strength to work through this!

Empty Me
by Chris Sligh

I've had just enough of the spotlight when it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood.
And I've tasted my share of the sweet life and the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enough.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

I've seen just enough of the quick buys of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away.
I know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change.

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you, compared to you.
Cause everything is a lesser thing Compared to you.
So, I surrender all!

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so I can be
Lord empty me of me so I can be filled with you.

Oh, filled with you. Empty me.

Strange Saturday

I woke up this morning with the weirdest thoughts in my head. I didn't think today would be that strange, but these thoughts are consuming my brain. So, today, my ex boyfriend (who I dated all through college - 3 1/2 years) is getting married. I'll admit, that's just weird! ok, so we've been broken up for almost 3 years now, but still - I never thought he'd get married before me. I'm not jealous and I'm definitely not having regrets about the breakup or anything like that - it's really just a strange feeling. Anyways, I'll get over it. Life goes on!

Carol and I are throwing a bridal shower/party for a friend (her bf's sister) tonight, so that should be a lot of fun! I should be getting things ready for it now...

On another note - the price of the house I'm looking at was reduced on Friday!! I'm pretty sure I'll be putting an offer in next week :) Cross your fingers and say a prayer!

Blah Day

The past 24 hours have been real interesting to say the least. I had 2 conversations last night that I really wasn't prepared for. The first one totally caught me off guard and made me take a deeper look at myself and areas I need to improve in personally (which I thought I'd really worked on already!). The second convo was much more important to me, but after the first convo, my emotions were already high, so it didn't help much for the second. Basically, I boo hooed with one of my best friends on the phone for about 30 minutes last night, like the kind where you can't catch your breath. Yeah, that hasn't happened in a long time! But, I needed to talk to my friend for a while now and get things out in the open and after the sermon Sunday when Keith said to "Face your problems head on" yeah, that hit home! So, I'd been praying about it and trying to muster up the courage to talk to my friend and she ended up calling me yesterday instead. Things are definitley out in the open now, I just have a challenging decision to make in the next week or so. I know I'm being pretty vague with this, I'm just not quite ready to share all the details with everyone.

On a completely different random note...

If you don't want to hear about girly stuff - stop reading now!! :)

Most people that know me, know that I have had endometriosis for about 8 years or so now. If you don't know what that is, here's a synopsis...

Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus is also found elsewhere in the body, mainly in the abdominal cavity. The most common symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain. The pain is often with menstruation, however a woman with endometriosis may also experience pain at other times during her monthly cycle. Another symptoms is infertility, and some women with endometriosis also experience severe fatigue. The only way to diagnose endometriosis for sure is during a laparoscopy, which is a surgical procedure. However, many physicians are able to "diagnose" endometriosis based on a woman's symptoms and start treatment on that basis. Is it curable? No. But it can be treated, and for many women it is possible to manage their symptoms through a combination of long term treatments.

I've already had 2 surgeries for it, first in '04 and second in '06. In the last surgery I had endo in 4 different areas (uterus, appendix, left ovary and cervix). The majority of my pain is right under my rib cages though, strange huh? After the second surgery, my doctor decided to put me on a GNRH antagonist (2 shots; 3 months apart) which made me go into early menopause for 6 months (Fall of '06). It definitely helped the pain, but unfortunately the pain has started to get worse again. I can usually control the pain with my diet. The main foods that cause pain are caffeine, chocolate, and acidic foods, especially pineapple. So, pray that I don't have to have another surgery anytime soon. I really don't want to go through all that again if I don't have to.

I went to the doctor 6 months ago for my annual check up and the pap smear came back abnormal, so they had to do a repeat one today. Hopefully it wasn't anything of concern, but it was my first abnormal smear, so it caused a bit of anxiety. So, having to deal with that on top of everything last night just made for a blah day. I'm so ready for the weekend!

I want the truth!

So, I was talking to a co-worker today about the heat this summer and I made mention of how it keeps getting hotter and hotter as the years progress and made a claim to global warming. Well, she says "you don't really believe in that, do you??" I was in shock - I never knew there was any controversy over it. In a stunned moment, I said, "well, yeah...Why wouldn't I?" and she said, something to the effect of it being a democratic belief. What in the world?!?! I thought it was like a given fact that global warming is a real thing - kinda like the earth is round. I did a little research, not much, but the only controversy I see is whether or not it's man made or natural. I'm just curious what other people know about this, and what I need to know and research! I want to know the facts. Man, it's like when I started going to NCCd and realized that the majority of the things we grew up "doing" in church weren't biblically sound, but only done because of tradition and we didn't know any different. Well, I want to know different! What else have I learned growing up that is in question?

Pics from Family Vacation

The waves are calling me back!

We're home from the beach! It was a great week and a much needed relaxation time for all of us. I'll post more tomorrow, but here's a preview of some of the fun!

On the road again...almost!

Well my bags are packed, the car is loaded and I'm ready to hit the road!! too bad I'm not leaving til after work tomorrow cause I'm so ready to go now!! We'll be gone til Saturday, so don't miss us too much - of course, we can't stand the thought of missing worship so we had to come back Saturday :)

I faced two of my obstacles this week - talking to my dad and emailing back the person that I've been angry with for 2 years. My dad sent me a text message on Thursday that said "Don't believe everything your brother says, he's not perfect you know. I love you unconditionally and wish you could to the same. Love, Dad" ugh! So, I called him after work and it was all small talk til he was about to get off the phone - without even bringing up what was the matter. So, I said, Dad, you know why we didn't come for the 4th right? and he said, no, but I don't want to know. I told him that we had to talk about it and not just act like nothing happened, he didn't like that but before i could explain myself, he proceeds to defend himself and well it wasn't pretty for a few minutes. He tried to tell me that he hadn't had a drink in 3 months and I told him that I didn't believe him because he'd called me drunk in that time frame. He kept saying that I was being judgmental. I told him many times that I did not agree with the drinking and that I wish that he would quit so we could actually build a relationship that we've never really had. He wasn't real happy with me, but I told him that I love him but I just don't like what he does. We ended on a good note and I'm really glad things got out in the open. I'm not going to go into the psychology on all of it but I really wish things would be different and I could actually have that father/daughter relationship that I hear other girls talk about and don't have a clue what it's like. I'm really glad we talked though and it's over with. I really couldn't have done it without God's grace, cause I really wanted to say things that I shouldnt have and I know God was holding my tongue! :P

Well, besides that - I had a really really good weekend! I went to a shower on Saturday for my friend, Carol's boyfriend's sister who's getting married in September. (she's my friend too! :) )

and in T-minus 17 hours I'll be here....

and then.....I'll have dinner with one of my best friends, Christy Cantrell Purvis (I still haven't gotten used to her married name and it's been 2 years!) and possibly her hubby Ryan.

Then....an hour and a half later I'll be seeing this....

Man, I can't wait to bury my toes in the sand!!

Don't worry...I have plenty of sunscreen for this trip! :)

Random Thoughts

* I am so thankful that no one was hurt in the earthquake in California today! I freaked just a bit when I heard where it was, which was 5 minutes from Bill's work, but he's ok and no one was hurt! Thank you Jesus!! :)

*I've finished reading "Bad Girls of the Bible" and I've narrowed down my next reading to 2 books - "One thing" by Sam Storms or "Living the Cross Centered Life" by C.J. Mahoney. I actually found these on my own and was glad to hear that others had read these and got good reviews of them. I'm excited to start reading one!

* I went to the waterpark in Statesboro Friday and was faced with the unexpected. My ex of 3 and a half years was there. I'm not sure if he saw me, but I was definitely surprised to see him! It made for a bit of an uncomfortable day, but it was definite reassurance that I had made the right decision.

* I need to face a few things in my life: 1. calling my dad; 2. emailing a friend back that I have been angry with for a few years who emailed me this weekend; 3. releasing anger with another friend for not communicating with me about an issue. I can' do this alone, but I know that God's grace gives me the strength to overcome these issues. So I'm relying on Christ and not myself!

* I'm going on vacation next week (Monday night through Saturday - we just can't handle missing church!!) I've still got a good bit of work left to finish, so I hope it will all get done so I won't worry about it next week. I'm so thankful for wonderful coworkers who will help out so others can take a break!! Thanks guys! :)

* Update on the house: it's still on the market! I need a side job to bring in about $100 extra a week so I will be comfortable in my finances. Until that happens, I don't feel ready to move forward on this house. I pray that God provides if it's meant to be.

* I got my camera to finally work! After I went on vacation last year on the houseboat in Utah, my camera stopped working. I think when I plugged it into the outlet on the boat, it messed up the internal charger part of my camera. So, I bought a battery charger (where you actually have to take the battery out and put it in the charger) and it works! Now, I just have to find my USB cord...but in the meantime...here are some pics of Caleb that mom took a week or so ago. I love my nephew!! :)

Books

I need some suggestions for reading material on vacation! Help me out guys :)

House info

So, I can't figure out how this slideshow stuff works so...in case you're wondering about the pics below...I got prequalified for a mortgage loan yesterday! This is the house I'm looking at.

House

Places I want to visit one day

1. French Polynesian Islands (Bora Bora)

2. England (Whitehall Palace)

3. Hawaii

4. Italy (Venice) - on a Gondola, of course!

Labels

As I was reading my book tonight, I got to thinking back on Sunday's sermon. Ok, back up...I'm reading about Rahab the prostitute and how she trusted in God to save her. the spies came back into the city after Joshua and his posse destroyed the city and brought her and her family to safety, just as promised. Well it referenced a verse in James (I'd tell you which one, but I'm too lazy right now to go in the bathroom and get my book...yeah TMI prob! lol) that said, "wasn't

Rahab the prostitute declared righteous too after what she did" (carley summary...). So, why after all these years, and being brought into the lineage of David, still referred to as a prostitute? Can't she just drop the title and just be Rahab?

So, back to the sermon...Keith said that the gospel isn't exclusive. and I recalled hearing something about not referring to someone as, "so and so the drunk," "so and so the child molestor," "so and so the crack addict," because in all actuality...we're all just as bad as the worst person you can think of and all in need of a savior. So, are labels neccessary, and if not - why was Rahab still called "the prostitute" in the New testament. The author says that it's to remind us of her past and how she's rose above it. It's not intended to glorify the sin, but to glorify God's grace.

So, I'm in full agreeance that the gospel is not exclusive - but are labels neccessary? If not, how do you look past them?

Tuesday

It's so great meeting and hanging out with new folks! So, in case you were wondering who the cool kids at new city are - Heath Clark and Jason and Kimberly Clements! :) you guys rock!! I'm so glad ya'll are a part of New City and I'm getting the chance to know you guys. btw- I know how many points a touchdown was in 1911 - answer: 5 hehe

Guys, don't read this!!

Random note for the day -
Cramps SUCK!!!

night! :)

letting down my guard

My randomness just very well may come out in this post...

I've realized that I've put a wall up and am afraid of letting people in. In order to get to know others and connect as a family of believers, I've got to be willing to knock down the wall and let others in if I expect for them to do the same for me. How else am I going to be able to make an investment in a non-believers life if I don't let them in on mine somewhat. So here's goes nothing....

My parents divorced when I was 3. My mom remarried my stepdad when I was 7. I have a brother, Brooks, who's 2 years old than me. When my parents divorced, we moved in with my grandparents who helped raise us and shape us to be who we are today. When my mom remarried, we moved into my great granddad's old farm house. We moved from there when I was 13 into the house we're in now. Less than 6 months after we moved in, on New Year's Eve, the house caught on fire and we lost all of our belongings. While we were rebuilding the house, my brother's friend Michael asked if he could live with us. We gained legal custody of him and we now consider him our brother. The summer before the house burned, I accepted Christ as my savior on a youth camp in Alabama. Brooks was there with me and prayed with me and I think it changed our relationship forever. I went to college at Georgia Southern University and majored in Child and Family Development. Surprisingly, I only spent 4 years in college! I am now an administrative assistant at Mabel White Baptist Church and have been there for 2 years. I hope to use my degree one day, but this job is a good fit for now.

Random tidbits...
I have a very hard time getting my words out and getting my point across
I absolutely hate cold weather, unless I'm inside by the fire or snow skiing
I love taking long baths at night and reading a book
I'm naturally a brunette
Honesty is a forte of mine
Chick flicks make me happy
I love alone time and enjoy my space
I live for the nights and dread the mornings
I can't wait to be a mom (but I will!) - I love kids!
My new addiction is the Tudor family history
The first thing I notice about someone is their smile
I was born to live on the beach, but the sun scares me now!
Pilates is much better than yoga, and I wish I had more space to practice more often.
I love camping, hiking, Georgia Southern Football, bowling, movies, music and my daytimer :)

Side note

God has a bit of a sense of humor and answers prayers really fast sometimes!! Last night I prayed that he'd step me out of my comfort zone...

...today he kinda pushed me into a situation that I normally wouldn't have been in. Me and another girl in the church ended up walking an elderly homeless lady down the road and through an alley to get some lunch. Almost as soon as Keith left us with her (with only a block or so to go) she starts crying hysterically and then cusses every guy out that we pass. yeah, talk about getting out of my comfort zone! Thanks God for keeping us safe, and having a bit of wit! ;)

Freedom in the gospel!!

Today's sermon really hit home today. The gospel is not exclusive. That seems like such a duh point to me when I just say it, but as Keith started explaining it today and giving the examples he did, it pulled at my heartstrings a bit. God doesn't say that the gospel is only for people who do this...or what we tend to think in our culture...people who don't do certain things. yes, the gospel IS for alcoholics. yeah...

So, how do I, as a daughter of an alcoholic, show the gospel to my dad? I don't think it's a matter of pointing out his faults and telling him how sorry he is and how he wasn't there for me. I've got to deal with all that on my own with God. I can't go to him with anger and bitterness. I just have to love him, despite his failures, just as God loves us. I just have to live out the gospel in my life and hope and pray that it resonates so much that my dad can come back to Christ.

So how do I live out the gospel? well the third point mentioned today that I think helps with that is Dress modestly. Ok, so I'm not amish and I don't dress like a harlot - but there have been times, yes I admit, that I've dressed in a way that would make guys take more notice in me than usual. I never want to be a stumbling block to my brothers in Christ and I want to have more respect in myself to not dress in a manner that is not uplifting. The only thing I should be showing off is my godliness!


I skipped the second point on purpose. Not because I didn't think it applied to me, but because it's so ironic and a bit funny how God works in your life. Last night I was reading my book, Bad Girls of the Bible, and it was about Ananias and Sapphira. I had never heard this story before actually so it was quite interesting to read. The jist of the story (my version) is that one guy had sold his property and given all the prophets to the church. Ananias wanted to show him up so he sold his property too, but instead of giving everything to the church, he and his wife agreed to keep a portion of it back for themselves. He lied about the price and God struck him dead. The God struck his wife dead too for lying about the price. God wasn't mad because they didnt give all the money to the church, but because they lied about it and had wrong intentions. So many times in the church, people give with the wrong motives - to get a plaque on the wall, because my family has a reputation to withhold in the church, so people know I have money...the list goes on and on. And for this reason, NOT THE GOSPEL the church begins to quarrel and fight,which is the second point of the sermon today. The church hardly ever ever ever fights over the gospel but because of stupid, petty things in the church. One group doesn't like the literature we're teaching in Sunday School, someone said so and so and someone else... it's so ridiculous, but unfortunately it goes on in many many churches today. If we just teach the gospel and teach about God's love and forget about all the petty stuff, the quarelling won't happen. And when it does happen, (because we are human, and slip up sometimes) we should fight like family. Agree to disagree and still love each other when it's all over.



Today's message was very freeing for me. I'm so grateful to be a part of a family of believers that strives to teach the gospel and see it transform everyone in our reach!

My Daddy

As I sit here, my heart is completely burdened and hurting. I got a phone call about 7 tonight and didn't answer, only to find out that my brother received the same phone call not too long after me. and answered. It was our dad. It's not often that I talk about him, mainly because it's just not worth the effort but this time I think it's inevitable. See, our dad is an alcoholic. Has been since before we were born probably. It's the reason that my mom left my dad when I was 3.

Tonight, was no different than any other night - I just wasn't the one who talked to him. I get so aggravated with him and don't understand this addiction and why he doesn't want to change. He won't own up to the fact that he's drunk when he calls and I just have no patience for him. I worry so much that if I say something about it to him when he's drinking (or any time for that matter) that he'll end up doing something really stupid and I can't feel at peace about things.

As I was sitting here worrying about it all, I got to thinking about my heavenly father - my one true Daddy. I am so thankful that he can take the burden for me. I kept hearing his words running through my head saying "I AM SOVEREIGN, I AM SOVEREIGN, I AM SOVEREIGN!" I don't doubt for one minute that God is in control of everything and that no matter what happens it's part of his plan, even if we don't understand it. I can no longer hold on to the burden of my earthly father, but give it up completely to my heavenly father. I'm also reminded of his unconditional love for us. We fail God and disappoint Him so many times, but He is always there with unconditional love waiting for us to come running back into his arms. I've never really understood why I care so much about my dad, because he hasn't exactly been a great role model and I'm not close to him at all. I guess God's just showing me how to be like Him because I still love my dad and care about him and want the best for him, no matter how many times he disappoints me. I am so thankful to have a Real Father to look up to when my earthly father fails me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Walk this way!

I'm reading this new book, "Bad Girls of the Bible" and at first it was just the title that drew me to it cause it seemed kinda scandalous (ok forgive me for being human!). Well, I can't believe how much I can relate to what the author wrote about these girls. I don't mean in like a "bad girl" sense, but just what we can learn from them.

The first girl mentioned was of course Eve, which I knew all about, but the second one I read tonight and it was Lot's wife, which I wasn't real familiar with. You know, she's the woman who turned to salt. It's weird because the Bible doesn't tell what she's like or even records anything that she ever said. The Lord sent an angel to find 10 people in Sodom who were worth saving because Abram asked God to save them. So, the angels pretty much force Lot and his wife and daughters out of Sodom before God burns the town down. Well, while they're heading out of the town, the angels tell them - don't stop and don't look back! For whatever reason, Lot's wife looks back and is turned into a pillar of salt. The author writes about 10 speculations about why she looks back such as - she heard something and turned to see what it was, she didn't believe it was really gonna happen, she was so attached to her possessions that she couldn't bear to see them be burned...but for whatever reason, she still disobeyed and turned around.

I think about my own life and how many times I am on the brink of freedom and getting things right with God and He clearly tells me not to do something, but I do it anyways. Do I not believe in his word or do I not trust that he knows what's best for me? Why does God not do the same thing to me that He did to Lot's wife, b/c I sure know I deserve it just as much as she did.

I know why, because Jesus takes the wrath for my sin. When I turn around, he's standing right there in front of me blocking me from the heat of the flames and turning me back in the other direction towards safety. What an awesome savior!

One of the coolest things I've learned at New City this year is that the Old testament is all about Jesus. In Luke 17:30-32 reminds us that Jesus is coming when we least expect him. So, don't go back in your house to get your things , drop everything and go and Remember Lot's wife!

"The Lord's message, then and now, is the same one the angels delivered: "Don't look back. Take my hand and walk with me to safety."

Calm my anxious heart!

My computer's been down for the past week, so I haven't been able to get on here in a while. Plus, things have been absolutely chaotic in our family. My brother, Michael's baby was born last week. I can't wait to meet her. She is absolutely adorable! Her name is Adriana Grace.
For a total 180 - my great aunt passed away this past week. I didn't know her really, but I know how hard it was for my granddad and I just hurt for him. I think it's a realization that he's getting older and his family is too. He and his younger brother are the oldest immediate relatives now.
Also, I'm kinda house hunting right now. I'm not sure if it's going to be feasible, but my granddad is helping me with all the numbers and we're going to look at some townhouses tomorrow that I really like. I really feel like I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready to take the next step. I'm 25 and still living at home - It's just time to move out. (nothing against my parents, they're great!) I just need some independence.

Saturday, I went to Barnes and Nobles to find a new book to read, since I finished all of my Phillipa Gregory series. Well, my pastor, Keith, had mentioned a book by J.I. Packer, Knowing God, so I looked for it and they didn't have it. So, then I remembered some authors he'd mentioned during talks and sermons and whatnot that I wasn't familiar with like Mark Driscoll and Timothy Keller. I found some books by them, but either they were too pricey or just wasn't what I was looking for. I think I'll order something online, but for now I chose "Bad Girls of the Bible and what we can learn from them" ok, so cheesy book at first thought, but I'm really enjoying it. I'll post more about it later - it'll be lengthy!

Sinus meds are about to kick in, so i'm heading to bed!

I'm clinging to this verse this week:
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. - Phil. 4:6

I'm back...and random

Alright, I think I'm gonna try again at this blogging thing! I figured out that you can downlaod new backgrounds, so whatcha think??

so...I'm very random if you didn't already know that! you'll see...lol!

Things have been a bit crazy for me this past week - VBS, work issues, family issues...I'm so ready for the weekend! Thank goodness we get out of work at 1:00 on Fridays now and I've already printed the bulletin -hooray!! :) I think my coworker, Meagan, and I are gonna grab lunch and a movie tomorrow (Kung Fu Panda! yeah, we're kids).

By the way, this blogging thing may end up being a bragging board about my nephew, Caleb! hehe I love that boy! Here's a pic of him at his child covenant service on Mother's day.

So, also I'm gonna start getting serious about moving out and I'm starting to look at some townhomes for rent. It's great having some goals in place :)

Another goal - start walking next week! There's a park almost across the street from my house and I just found out this week that there's a walking trail there. So, that'll be much better than walking on the side walk of a 5 lane road.

Alrighty, I'll update soon - more interesting info to come, I hope!

New

Well, since I thought I was posting to a private blog before, I ended up deleting that one and starting over! I'll post more later, just wanted to throw one on here as a starter. Have a great Wednesday :)